I was out weeding the garden this morning, and my youngest daughter asked me, “Mommy, why do you pull weeds every morning?” (I don’t do it “every” morning, but I know it can seem that way to a little person).
So I shared with her that doing a little bit, regularly is important to keep the garden growing healthy.
“We have to take out the things we don’t want so that there’s room for the healthy vegetables to grow. And when we do a little bit each day, it doesn’t have to become a really big job to do all at once.”
So she came back with… “But the weeds are small like little babies, if you take them out they’ll be sad, and all alone.”
(Gotta be honest, I love her dear sensitive heart and these natural teaching moments.)
“I hear you baby. It’s important to get them out when they’re small because they are easier to take out and they haven’t made a lot of friends with other weeds or plants yet so they won’t miss them.”
She was satisfied with that and asked if she could help me, reverently taking out one little weed at a time.
And it got me thinking…
The way that weeds work, is a lot like how our thinking works with negative or hurtful thoughts, old out of date habits, or reactions that we don’t like.
As any gardener knows, weeds are the enemy of a healthy garden.
Weeds are invasive, often spreading faster than we can keep up with them. They choke out the flowers and vegetation we love to grow, and are hard to get rid of.
The secret for getting rid of weeds, as any plant aware person knows, is to pull them out by the roots when the weeds are small, before they form a tight network of roots beneath the surface.
Sound like anything else we often struggle with?
Exactly! Negative thoughts, specifically about our self!
How many times have you heard someone say something to you, “Red really isn’t your colour.” for example.
At the time it seemed like no big deal, but the weed seed was planted.
Over time, you kept playing it over and over in your mind.
You questioned “Does red really look that bad on me?”
“What do they know about colour?”
Were they right, had you really not known this till then?
You questioned what they thought of you, or how they saw you to have said such a thing.
Every time that you replayed what they said, you were feeding and watering that weed. You shone light on it, and it grew bigger, and stronger.
Then, you found you start acting differently because you didn’t want other people to think the same thing about you.
You avoided buying red clothes, accessories, or makeup, even though you loved red. You even convinced yourself that you didn’t like red, or you even hated the colour so that no one else would have that belief or experience of you.
Every time you altered your actions, you spread those weed roots and a new baby weed popped above the surface.
Now after all this time, it’s a pattern with a life of its own.
You have built that network so strongly that it lives in your mind, in your body and in your heart. Just like a network of weeds in the garden.
It’s strong and vast, and unless you dig it up at the roots, you will have this avoidance of “red” in all areas of your life.
Patterns spread, and how we do one thing is how we do everything because of how they live in us. Just like the weeds in the garden.
Well, just when all hope seems lost, we do have the solution.
Weed your garden!
Yes, it’s going to take some work.
You will get dirty.
You will feel sore.
You will likely have to invest in some quality tools that make the job easier and a bit faster, plus you’ll have them for future weeding times.
The good news is… you can stop to take breaks, catch your breath, and refresh with water and a stretch.
You don’t have to pull all the weeds out in one day, but once you start, you’ll be addicted to the results of that beautiful, healthy, vibrant garden that you’ve tended.
The trick is to start.
If you’re ready to start changing those negative beliefs or getting some new coping tools, connect with me at kp@kimberlypereira.com to arrange your consult call.
