Ha
ppy Valentine’s Day! Happy Love Day! Happy Day!
While I’ve seen the usual extremes perpetuated by social media, “Another Hallmark holiday”, vs. “The ideal way to lavish love on your partner”, vs. “I’m single so today isn’t for me”, I’m happy to say that I’ve seen way more emphasis on “Loving your Self” than ever before. Granted, this may be because of where I’m hanging out in the SM world, regardless, it’s refreshing.
I work with a lot of people who struggle with loving their self. It comes down to one or a combo of the following reasons loving the self is so difficult:
- They haven’t been shown how to love; what that sounds like, what it looks like or feels like, so they are basically guessing, not enjoying the attempt, and end up with a disappointing experience.
- They don’t actually know who their “self” is; so even if they know how to love, they don’t have a sense of identity, or
value to be able to apply this love to their self. - They don’t like themselves enough to take time to focus on their self.
If you fall into any or all of the above categories, it’s all good! You can still give your self a little bit of love to enjoy this annual celebration.
Even if your experience has been devoid of a healthy expression of love directed to your self, you can start fresh by going with your own idea of what you think is loving. Ask yourself, how would I show love to someone else? Whatever your answer is, apply this to your self.
If you have seen lots of ideas of how to express love, and wondered what it would be like to experience certain things you can ask yourself, what would I like to receive/experience from someone who loves me? Whatever the answer to that question is, apply it to your self.
So you don’t like your self? Really, there’s nothing you like? Start with something small about your self, a feature, a characteristic, the way you said something one time. Celebrate that part of you, no matter how small and over time you will begin to see more things you like, or even better, you will begin to become the person you want to be.
Whatever you try, stay curious, be open, and remember, this is a celebration, so no pressure.
Warmest Wishes!
Kimberly